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In his 2nd post, the Apex Predator uses pro wrestling to inspire your sales force.
For those who missed my first blockbuster post, I've signed on to do a monthly article for Ambition. The goal: Give you the straight talk you've desperately wanted/needed to hear.
But before we dive in, a brief word on my real-life identity. Ambition received some inquiries following last month's post. And now, I give you my answer:
What does matter? Thousands of my fellow sales professionals are out there, at this very moment, bringing shame to the game and getting off scot free. And every morning they strut into work, think they're championship material. When they actually look like this:
Today's Topics: Sales Posers
This is about to get real physical, real fast. So if you're not down to get in the ring with the Apex Predator for a few minutes, head on over to LinkedIn for your usual light and fluffy professional development. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages:
Topic #1. Your Candy Ass Pipeline.
I love hearing people trying to justify their pipeline. It's literally the best comedy on the planet. Sales reps love to point at their pipeline and say: "look at how great I'm doing, this thing is bursting at the seams."
Me: "Half of those have been in there for months -- what's the deal?"
Candy Ass Sales Rep: [Babbling list of excuses]
Me: [See Below]
Unless you're an SDR, your role is not to have a bloated pipeline. Your role is to be a Top Gun pilot who moves precious cargo through his or her pipeline at warp speed, safely landing them onto an aircraft carrier full of closed deals. And if you're not calling C-Level people right now because it's not company policy, here's a true story for you.
At my first SaaS Sales job, the company did not codify C-Level prospecting into its sales process until my 3rd year as a Rep. But 18 months into Year 1, I went to my Boss anyways and had the following conversation.
Me: "So my pipeline is getting bogged down because I can't get Decision Maker buy-in. I'm wasting a ton of time and not making any money. Is it ok if I go straight to the C-Level from now on? I'll book fewer 1st meetings but the stuff I do book will close much faster."
Boss: "Hell yeah! Go for it. I wish everyone did that."
About 6 months later, my company audited its sales process and found that C-Level prospecting had the most dramatic impact on sales cycle length. It got codified immediately thereafter.
The dirty little secret here, it's much more enticing to go for a lower-level executive in B2B Sales. You're much more likely to get that first meeting. Your pipeline is looking better. You're feeling good about yourself. You're justifying in your head -- "the C-Level doesn't make these decisions."
And you know, in some cases, they may not. But they know who in their organization does. And when they tell you, guess what you get to say to the Decision Maker when you reach out: "Your CEO/CFO/CTO told me to call you about this."
Are they taking that phone call? You're damn right. All of a sudden, you're not a sales person any more. You're "someone they need to talk to." You're winning before you even have the first meeting.
Topic #2. Zero Finishing Moves.
Just thinking about this topic makes my blood boil. Sales reps that expect prospects to close themselves are right up there with my ex-fiance, Kim Jong Il and the Boston Marathon bomber on my list of the world's worst people.
You people are actually villains. When I've got a prospect in the pipeline, I think like it's a wrestling match. I'm mapping out my moves ahead of time, anticipating their attacks, and using the occasional foreign object from my Marketing Team to my advantage. The second I see my window, guess what comes next.
Nothing better than an RKO from outta nowhere. Those are the best moments -- when you walk into a meeting with a decision-maker who's shutting you down...shutting you down...shutting you down... All of a sudden, you find your inner strength -- you re-contextualize the situation. You start using their moves against them.
"Didn't you say your organization is planning on hiring 10 new people next month? This product is going to save you x dollars in onboarding costs alone."
The stadium starts roaring. You work them into position. You drop the finishing move. The crowd is on their feet. "Price and terms are good. Can't wait to get started." Cover up. Pin. Three-count.
Picturing yourself pile-driving decision-makers through their own conference tables might not work for everyone. But hey, maybe it will for you.
Topic #3. Know Your Role. Don't Use Social Media.
Your cold calling competitors are literally laughing at you over Sky & Sodas at tonight's Happy Hour. Know what happened to the guys on their team who sent emails and LinkedIn messages? They got fired months ago.
Don't you want to be the best at what you do? Don't you want to be the King or Queen of Closing? Do you even respect yourself? Or are you prone to getting posterized in the paint by Apex Predators like yours truly and my golf buddy in the following gif.
By the way, I know that gif is off-theme. I just wanted to name drop the fact that LeBron is my golf buddy. You caught that, right? Good. If you're an Sales Development Rep who spends all day social selling, don't wait around for that promotion.
What's that? You're an Account Executive?
Topic #4. Apex 3:16
If you ever send me a cold email with Re: in the subject line, mark my words, I'll come find you. Of all the sad, pathetic, self-degrading things you can do as a sales professional, this is by far the worst. And yet, there must be thousands of you delusional jabronis out there doing it - because I get one every single day!
Perpetrator status: Found. Note: Name crossed out to protect me from prosecution once the Feds find his body spare him embarrassment.
Final Thoughts
I wouldn't invite you to come mow my lawn, let alone waste 45 minutes teaching you how to sell. You want to get better at sales? Stop attending hour-long webinars/workshops/whatever they call them these day. Spend that hour cold calling for 60 consecutive minutes.
Don't check your phone. Turn off Gchat. Don't even check your email. Just blitz through your prospect list like you're Stone Cold 'Steve Austin' doling out stunners to everyone in the building.
But seriously, watch that video. And if none of this fires you up - if you think pro wrestling is the dumbest thing in the world this side of NASCAR ... here's a picture of a yacht.
Truth powerbombs? Check. Gratuitous gifs? Check. Obligatory yacht pic? Check. Well look at that, I've fulfilled my quota for this month's blog post. Time to hit the exit and let you recover from the truth powerbombs I just unleashed. I'll be back again next month. Until then, jabronis.
Read More from the Apex Predator
The Apex Predator writes regularly for Ambition. He has a contractual obligation to recommend scheduling a demo to see Ambition's sales management platform. Read his previous articles below.
- Sales Motivation from the Apex Predator
- More Sales Motivation from the Apex Predator
- Sales Rescue with the Apex Predator
- The Return of the Apex Predator
- The Apex Predator's 5 Essential Sales Articles
- Sales Mailbag with the Apex Predator
- 15 Real Songs to Pump Up Your Sales Reps
- Why You're Losing the War for Talent
- The Apex Predator Explains the Laws of Power
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