Back
The Apex Predator is back, ladies and gentlemen.
I want to start this post off by saying that if you were on my sales team and regularly use one of the buzzwords on this list, I would have personally fired you already.
That is how deeply I loathe the 10 terms on this list.
Buzzwords in business are bad enough. Sales buzzwords, though, are the worst of the freaking worst. We are people who talk for a living. We have no business saying any buzzwords, ever.
The 10 Worst Sales Buzzwords of All-Time
Consider this a list of sales buzzwords you should never say under any circumstances. Let’s get to work. *Cracks knuckles.*
1) Touch Base
The ultimate four letter word in sales. Does this look like a baseball diamond? Are there grandstands filled with people eating peanuts and cracker jacks watching you make cold calls? No? Then stop telling your prospects you’re contacting them to touch base!
Touching base signifies the ultimate waste of time. You might as well tell your prospect you’re phoning it in and contacting him or her just so your manager doesn’t yell at you.
ALWAYS have a reason to contact someone. KNOW that touching base is never a valid reason to contact someone.
It’s that simple! Comprende?
Good, onto the next one.
2) Eat our own dogfood
Who is the idiot who came up with this phrase? Seriously? “Eat our own dog food?” Just say “use our own product/service” and sound less like someone who might be a Furry on the weekends.
I don’t have much more to add here, to be frank. This is pretty cut and dry. It’s one of those dumb sayings that people started saying because they heard other people say it - and it’s so shocking it sticks in the back of your head like a piece of chewing gum you can’t finagle.
P.S. the other variation on this phrase, “Drink our own champagne,” is just as dumb. You don’t sound like a Furry, just someone who wants your prospect to hate you.
3) Circle Back
Belongs in the same phylum as “touch base.” Even if I like you and am interested in the product/service you’re selling, I’m about to drop my opinion of you by 15% every time you use this phrase on me.
Just say, “following up” or “reaching back out” instead, gang. This isn’t that hard. Saying your circling back makes it sound like you’re a robotic corporate drone versus an actual human reaching out to me.
4) Pick Your Brain
I’m stunned at how many requests I get each week (usually via LinkedIn) from sales reps with a product/service to sell looking to pick my brain. You’re supposed to be the one adding value, not me.
My time is precious. I need value up front. I didn’t become a VP by agreeing to a 15 minute “Pick my Brain” meeting with every jabroni that asked for one. I’d have zero time left in the day to do anything else.
Never ask to pick a prospect’s brain - or else you risk coming across as selfish.
5) Discount
I’m still shocked at how many inept sales managers and reps think that the word “discount” is some magical fairy dust that you just sprinkle over a deal that is struggling to close. Discount should not be a part of your sales vocabulary. There are myriad better turns of phrase that don’t make you sound like a used car salesman (apologies to any used car salesman who may be reading this and take offense; but not really).
Moreover, you should only use special pricing phrasing when the prospect has explicitly stated that price is the primary area of concern for the buyer.
Don’t be Ned Gunderson from Fargo. Don’t use the word “discount.”
6) Honestly
Honestly, I freaking hate it when my sellers use the word “honestly” in their sales conversations. See how unnecessary it was in the last sentence? It adds no value and what it actually does is call into question the integrity of everything else you’ve told the prospect prior.
Your reps should be brutally honest at all times. The good ones always are. So teach them to be that way and strike the word honestly from their vocabulary. It’s not a buzzword. It’s a way of life.
7) Innovate
There is nothing more infuriating than a tech sales rep who uses words that belong in a Venture Capitalist pitch deck when trying to close a prospect. “Innovate,” “innovative” and perhaps worst of all, “innovating” are all vapid, meaningless words when it comes to you adding value to your buyer. Just pure air.
Instead of talking about how innovative your company is, point out specific examples where you have valuable new service offerings that your competitors lack - but only where you can relate them to your buyers’ pain points. Voila! Less buzzword bullshit. More actual value adding.
8) Double Click
Was a horse race between this one and “drill down” to make this list but “double click” wins just because of the tech nerdyness aspect of it. At least drill down sounds like you’re doing some hard work to get to the bottom of your prospect’s needs. Double click sounds like you’re cramming for a last minute exam and need to get the bare minimum amount of information for you to pass.
And FYI … never, under any circumstances, use triple click. Just don’t do it.
9) Disrupt
I’m shocked at how much I hear this one. I don’t care what the idiots in marketing told you your messaging should be. There is never a reason on God’s green earth to use the world disrupt in the parlance of a sales conversation. It has as much business being there as the word “moist.” You see how off-putting that last sentence just made you? That’s your sales prospects every time you use the word “disrupt” in front of them.
10) Kindly or Kind Regards
This might be a personal thing but f*ck it, let’s ride. I get annoyed when someone signs off an email with “Kindly” or “Kind Regards.” Now, this might be okay if you work in Human Resources. Or Accounting. But if you’re a sales professional, we don’t need you to be kind. We need you to be a stone cold, all business killer who can diagnose the problems your business is having, then dial up the perfect solution. Whether that person is kind or not is irrelevant to me. If they think that it’s important for prospects to know that they are signing off “kindly,” they’re probably not a killer. And therefore of little use to me.
Again, I can be swayed on this. If you know examples of quota-crushing sales reps who sign off with “kindly,” mention them in the comments.
Just Say “No” to Sales Buzzwords
Make 2023 the year you cut all sales buzzwords from your lexicon - starting with these ten. Your prospects will thank you. Your bank account will thank you. Your significant other will thank you while y’all are maxing and relaxing at President’s Club.
It’s simple, y’all. Cut the sales buzzwords and be the best sales rep you can be.
Not so kindly,
The Apex Predator
